PONTIFACTS

A light hearted, only slightly blasphemous papal history podcast, ranking the Popes from Peter to Francis

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Episodes

Monday May 18, 2020

The sixth ecumenical council of the church centered on the Monothelitism and Monoenergism controversies. After many years of struggle, the new emperor set his sights on religious reconciliation, and the result is a nearly yearlong council to confirm a dyothelite Christology. In this episode we discuss the Letter of Agatho, the acclamations of the fathers and anathemas of the besmirchers, and the spectacle of Polychronus and the corpse.
 
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Sunday Jun 07, 2020

Pontifacts is 2 years old! To celebrate, we invited a group of our favourite podcasters to participate in an actual-play pope themed D&D adventure. Join us as this rag tag band of Byzantine ‘pilgrims’ attempt to kidnap Pope Martin I, and bring him back to the Emperor. Shenanigans ensue.
Cast:DM: FryConstantine Constantius: Jamie of Totalus RankiumConstans: Rob of Totalus RankiumMilo: Ari of Quest Friends!Adesius: Josh of Drunk Church HistoryEanswythe: BryExarch: David of the SiecleLady of the Night: Courtney of Cult of Domesticity
Hear our cast:Totalus Rankium:https://totalusrankium.podbean.com/ https://totalusrankiumap.podbean.com/ Quest Friends: https://www.questfriendspodcast.com/ Drunk Church History:https://drunkchurchhistory.podbean.com/ The Siecle:http://thesiecle.com/ Cult of Domesticity:https://domesticpodcast.podbean.com/ 
Campaign:
https://www.drivethrurpg.com/m/product/233069
Songs used: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVBgKCYrI-c https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yW4CySchxjI&list=PLhODZ6AEpil7QeRmoKNSvE5F6pJX8iRC6&index=8
 
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Monday Jun 22, 2020

Pontifacts is 2 years old! To celebrate, we invited a group of our favourite podcasters to participate in an actual-play pope themed D&D adventure. Join us as this rag tag band of Byzantine ‘pilgrims’ attempt to kidnap Pope Martin I, and bring him back to the Emperor. Shenanigans ensue.
Cast:DM: FryConstantine Constantius: Jamie of Totalus RankiumConstans: Rob of Totalus RankiumMilo: Ari of Quest Friends!Adesius: Josh of Drunk Church HistoryEanswythe: Bry
Hear our cast:Totalus Rankium:https://totalusrankium.podbean.com/https://totalusrankiumap.podbean.com/Quest Friends: https://www.questfriendspodcast.com/Drunk Church History:https://drunkchurchhistory.podbean.com/
 
Campaign:
https://www.drivethrurpg.com/m/product/233069
 
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Monday Jul 06, 2020

Pontifacts is 2 years old! To celebrate, we invited a group of our favourite podcasters to participate in an actual-play pope themed D&D adventure. Join us as this rag tag band of Byzantine ‘pilgrims’ attempt to kidnap Pope Martin I, and bring him back to the Emperor. Shenanigans ensue Cast:DM: FryConstantine Constantius: Jamie of Totalus RankiumConstans: Rob of Totalus RankiumMilo: Ari of Quest Friends!Adesius: Josh of Drunk Church HistoryEanswythe: Bry
Hear our cast:Totalus Rankium:https://totalusrankium.podbean.com/https://totalusrankiumap.podbean.com/Quest Friends:https://www.questfriendspodcast.com/Drunk Church History:https://drunkchurchhistory.podbean.com/… all hail Bird Constans.
 
 
Campaign:
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82. Leo II

Monday Jul 20, 2020

Monday Jul 20, 2020

Leo made the greatest impression on the writer of the Liber Pontificalis, who has much to say about his beautiful singing voice. In his episode, we discuss the transfer of endangered relics, finalizing the Third Council of Constantinople, shoring up papal primacy in a contentious Ravenna, and Irish Bullies.
Notes: Celtic Monks - https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Meister_des_Book_of_Durrow_001.jpg#mw-jump-to-license
 
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83. Benedict II

Monday Aug 03, 2020

Monday Aug 03, 2020

This second Benedict was yet another talented singer, and so was deeply loved by the Liber Pontificalis author. In his episode, we discuss the symbolic adoption of the Imperial sons, the latest appeals of Wilfrid of York, and... bountiful hands. 
 
Shame Norman Boutin. 
 
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84. John V

Monday Aug 17, 2020

Monday Aug 17, 2020

Pope Blackfish was "in every way, temperate", but let's not get him out of bed. 
In his episode, we discuss his role in the Third Council of Constantinople, continued imperial relations, presumptuous bishops, and we clearly don't know what Blackfish is about.
 
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85. Conon

Monday Aug 31, 2020

Monday Aug 31, 2020

After the death of Pope John V, a division between the Latin Romans and the new eastern Romans led to strong disagreements over who should be Pope. Enter Pope Conon.  In his episode, we discuss famous Irish missionaries, Sicilian mistakes, and some Karenas. 
 
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86. Sergius I

Monday Sep 14, 2020

Monday Sep 14, 2020

Pope Sergius had to contend with a lot of chaos! He had to overcome jumped up influencers to win the papacy, and fend off aggressive Imperial threats in order to keep it. In his episode, we discuss a double antipapcy, the Maronites, and all the issues with the Quinisext Council.With a special appearance from our podcast mascots. 
 
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Monday Sep 21, 2020

We're extremely pleased to announce that Pontifacts is now a part of the Agora Podcast Network!
Visit the Agora website: https://www.agorapodcastnetwork.com/

87. John VI

Monday Sep 28, 2020

Monday Sep 28, 2020

Pope Salty Eye lived up to his name better than we could have ever hoped. In his episode, we discuss the unexpected arrival of the Exarch of Ravenna, the unexpected arrival of the Lombards, and the very expected arrival of Wilfrid of York. We also teach Fry's child how to use 'salty'. 
(Narrator:"But Bry did not get her bad rolls, and her D&D character ended up insta-killed that very evening!")
 
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88. John VII

Monday Oct 12, 2020

Monday Oct 12, 2020

Two Johns in a row! This one got the more unfortunate nickname...In his episode, we deal with John's gamble against the revenge driven Emperor Justinian No-Nose, regulations for clerical dress, and a possibly-definitely made up scandal Fry is not on board with. 
 
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89. Sisinnius

Monday Oct 26, 2020

Monday Oct 26, 2020

Sisinnius would have made a great pope. In his episode, we discuss the growth of the Eastern influence in the Roman church, the state of the Aurelian walls, and gout. 
 
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90. Constantine

Monday Nov 16, 2020

Monday Nov 16, 2020

After Sisinnius's sudden death, his brother Constantine was the perfect fit to succeed him as pope - he was attracted to the Eastern culture, he had a rapport with the Imperial family, and he had a streak of luck like we haven't seen in a long time.  In his episode, we discuss weaboo-ing, vinegar blinding, and sneaky murdering. 
 
https://vurbl.com/station/6kQLp2NkIIO/
 
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91. Gregory II

Monday Nov 30, 2020

Monday Nov 30, 2020

Pope Gregory II, "the mouthy" has a lot to live up to in his namesake, and a lot of assassination attempts to see off.  In his episode, we discuss a significant Tiber flood, an unusually specific synod, the beginning of the Papal States, and the ICONOCLASM. We also ask the important question... who is messing in the olive groves?!
Show Notes: Map of Rome: https://theromanguy.com/wp-content/uploads/Hills-of-ROme-2.jpeg
Tonsure Image: https://humoncomics.com/art/monk-tonsure.png 
Papal Coat of Arms of Benedict XVI: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/68/Coat_of_Arms_of_Benedictus_XVI.svg/240px-Coat_of_Arms_of_Benedictus_XVI.svg.png 
Lombard/Byzantine Italy:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liutprand,_King_of_the_Lombards#/media/File:Liutprand%27s_Italy.gif
 
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92. Gregory III

Monday Dec 14, 2020

Monday Dec 14, 2020

Pope Gregory III is the last non-European pope in the church until the election of Pope Francis. He also did not expect to be pope! In his episode, we discuss his unusual election, the frustrating obstacles to defending iconoclasm, the ongoing petty squabbles of the Lombards, horse meat, and some actual contact with Charles Martel! 
 
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Monday Jan 04, 2021

In this very special bonus episode and our first Agora collaboration, Bry and Fry sit down with Steve Guerra from the History of the Papacy to discuss favourite popes, favourite moments in papal history, and what draws us into the wild and complex legacy of the church.
Find the History of the Papacy here: https://www.atozhistorypage.com/

93. Zachary

Monday Jan 18, 2021

Monday Jan 18, 2021

Pope Zachary, our last "Byzantine" pope, marks an important shift away from the Eastern Empire, towards... yet another empire. 
In his episode, we discuss the ongoing Iconoclasm, calming the Lombard threat, evangelization in Germania, and how babies poop sometimes. Come for the bad Angelology, stay for "Here are your Hot Dogs": a broad overview of the Franks. 
Revolution 1: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3fuVDWbZ9igPTraCLTZx3j?si=OudvgE-nQWOQnTO2EjZ8yw&fbclid=IwAR1WarEAq1jShf1EvsCPBKhyeIsfW1aIXbiW99SPAXYmBQDaL7sf7-hhPGs
 
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Pope Elect Stephen

Monday Feb 01, 2021

Monday Feb 01, 2021

Stephen was elected to the papacy... that's about it. In his episode, we discuss the debate over when a pope becomes a pope, and the pontifical numbering confusion for the Stephens. 
 
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94. Stephen II

Monday Feb 15, 2021

Monday Feb 15, 2021

The real pope Stephen II has a pontificate that marks many very important paradigm shifts that will change the role of the papacy from here on out.
In his episode, we discuss the beginning of the Frankish papacy, yet another Lombard threat, the Donation of Pepin, and the beginning of Popes crowning and legitimating the rule of Kings. 
 
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Monday Mar 01, 2021

Intelligent Speech is back, and we will be speaking!
We will be joining forces with Steve of History of the Papacy to talk about the Pope's Secret Escape passageway, and Bry will be participating in a panel on Italy with Steve, Mike of History of Italy, and Marco of Storia d'Italia.
Tickets are available at https://www.intelligentspeechconference.com/
Use code PONT for 10% off your ticket. 

95. Paul I

Monday Mar 01, 2021

Monday Mar 01, 2021

The brother of our last Pope, Paul was a capable diplomat, and a fitting choice to continue Stephen's policies. In his episode, we discuss the threat of the Lombards, the threat of the Byzantines, the threat of a Byzantine-Lombard alliance, Saint Petronilla, and no-lady zones. 
 
Intelligent Speech tickets available here:
https://www.intelligentspeechconference.com/
 
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Use code PONT for 10% off

96. Stephen III

Monday Mar 15, 2021

Monday Mar 15, 2021

Pope Stephen's election comes at a time where the people of the newly established papal states are grappling with having the Pope as their new secular leader. Violence ensues. 
In his episode we discussDuke Toto and his antipope, King Desiderius and his antipope, the rise and fall of Chris and Serg, and the new Franks in charge. 
 
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97. Hadrian I

Monday Mar 29, 2021

Monday Mar 29, 2021

While Paul Afiarta conspired to secure the papacy, the elite and very popular Hadrian secured the votes instead - and things were about to change! 
In his episode, we discuss the fall of Paul Afiarta, the fall of Desiderius and the Lombard Kingdom, the emergence of an empire, and the hardcore bromance with the French Man. 
PS- Pontifacts mascot Ridley had plenty to say in this episode, apologies!
 
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Monday Apr 05, 2021

Surprise! In this bonus episode, Bry is joined by Neil of War and Conquest Podcast to talk more about Charlemagne, more Papal States, and discuss whether Pope Hadrian should be on Top 10 pope lists.
War and Conquest: https://www.warandconquest.com/ https://twitter.com/warandconquest1 

98. Leo III

Monday Apr 12, 2021

Monday Apr 12, 2021

As a non-noble elected to the Papacy, Leo received a terrible welcome. Fortunately, miracles and Charlemagne made things right. In his episode, we discuss the precedents of judging a pope and oaths of purgation, Holy Roman Emperors, and so much about Carolingian mythmaking that Fry can't take it.
 
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99. Stephen IV

Monday Apr 26, 2021

Monday Apr 26, 2021

Pope Stephen IV is NOT Stephen VI. In his episode, we discuss the symbolic importance of the coronation of Louis the Pious, Jesus's sandals, and we ask important questions about where you would rather be kissed.
 
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100. Paschal I

Monday May 17, 2021

Monday May 17, 2021

We've reached 100 main episodes, just in time for our three year anniversary! And Paschal is about to make some significant changes!
In his episode we'll discuss a monumental building effort in Rome, the translations of saints relics, and factional, probably totally complicit murder.
 
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101. Eugene II

Monday May 31, 2021

Monday May 31, 2021

Pope Eugene, this time not a ghost, or spiders, wanted to ensure that he maintained a solid relationship with the Franks. And to do that, some compromises must be made. In his episode, we discuss the extremely important Constitutio Romanum, the Council of Rome 826, and which Jungle Book characters the Frankish kings should be. 
 
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102. Valentine

Monday Jun 14, 2021

Monday Jun 14, 2021

Pope Valentine (not that Valentine) was very close with our last pope, which lead to serious confusion about what exactly their relationship was. In his episode, we discuss his pre-papal status, the confusion over the Constitutio Romanum, and the very uncomfortable potential of scandal.
Brace yourselves, our podcast mascots had plenty to say this episode. 
 
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Announcement: Hiatus

Thursday Jun 24, 2021

Thursday Jun 24, 2021

Pontifacts is going on a brief hiatus, due to surprise moves! 
We'll be back as soon as we possibly can - keep an eye on our social media for announcements as to when that will be.
Thank you as always for your understanding and support! 

103. Gregory IV

Monday Sep 13, 2021

Monday Sep 13, 2021

We're back with Gregory IV, an energetic but mild small dog man. In his episode, we discuss fights over Farfa, the protracted Frankish civil wars, world-changing events being blamed on women, and ruses for betrayal!
Will Gregory be as frustrated with the Franks as Fry is?
 
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104. Sergius II

Monday Sep 27, 2021

Monday Sep 27, 2021

Pope Sergius "Hog's Mouth" was the most pure boy, but also a grumpy gouty man who faces one of the greatest losses in church history. In his episode, we discuss why popes aren't called Peter, what happens when you contend with an antipope and the Constitutio Romanum at once, what happens when God "sends pagans to avenge what Christians fail to amend", what happens when you leave your treasures outside, and all the blame we should bestow upon his brother.
 
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105. Leo IV

Monday Oct 11, 2021

Monday Oct 11, 2021

Pope Leo may have been a 'despiser of the self', but there are plenty of reasons for us to like him! In his episode, we discuss the fortification of Rome and  Leonine City just in time for the Battle of Ostia, some very important disobedient clerics, a surprise Rexy appearance, and Raphael dicks. 
 
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Johannes Anglicus

Monday Oct 25, 2021

Monday Oct 25, 2021

Pope Johannes has a secret.
 
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Pope Joan

Monday Nov 08, 2021

Monday Nov 08, 2021

The secret has been revealed, and now its time for the whole of the Pope Joan mythos!
In her episode, we discuss the origins of the legend, the arguments for and against her existence, possible 'hints' of Joan in art and architecture, and the ball touching chair - 'Testiculos habet, et bene pedentes!'
 
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Why Pope Joan?

Monday Nov 22, 2021

Monday Nov 22, 2021

It's time to answer another important question – WHY Pope Joan?  If she didn’t exist, what purpose does the legend of Pope Joan serve?
In this episode, we discuss what Pope Joan represents about the church, popes, and women, and who she might have been created to attack. 
Note: In this episode, something went off-kilter with Bry's microphone! Please bear with us and our substandard audio quality. 
 
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106. Benedict III

Monday Dec 13, 2021

Monday Dec 13, 2021

Pope Benedict was the actual pope to follow Leo IV, not Pope Joan! In his episode, we discuss a dramatic and confusing antipapacy, why his Liber Pontificalis entry is often missing, complicated consequences of the Iconoclasm, and... astral dew. 
 
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Tuesday Dec 21, 2021

For this special Christmas crossover, we joined up with Battle Royale to talk about important French Saints, in all their grisly glory! 
 
Check out Battle Royale: 
https://battleroyale.buzzsprout.com/1804279?s=09
https://twitter.com/BattleRoyalePod
 
Show description:
The most wonderful time of the year was made even more wonderful by our first ever guests, Bry and Fry of the Pontifacts podcast, who rate all of the popes from Peter to Francis. Complemented as ever by the splendid humour of Fry and Eliza, Bry and Ben recount the tales of the five patron saints of France who have been woven into our story so far: Saint Petronilla, Saint Denis, Saint Martin, Saint Remy and Saint Radegund. 
This is definitely not your average Christmas episode! We've got a guy carrying his own severed head, an emperor's butt being set on fire and a dove descending from the sky with a Molotov cocktail, just to name a few incidents. We also find out that not only could women read in the Dark Ages (shocker!), but one of them could even speak to frogs! How very French of her.

Monday Dec 27, 2021

During our exploration of the Frankish Papacy, Dr. Rutger Kramer has been our academic hero, providing access to sources, and inspiring thought-provoking discussions that resulted in much more informative episodes. So it only seemed right that we invite him on to the show, to provide his expertise!
In this episode, Bry and Rutger discuss the concepts of power, state, and church for both the Carolingians and the Papacy, the complicated dynamics of the Carolingian-Papal relationship, and critically evaluating our contemporary sources!
Find Rutger:https://twitter.com/AnotherAspirin
 
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107. Nicholas I

Monday Jan 10, 2022

Monday Jan 10, 2022

"Few popes hold a more dominating place in the history of the Catholic Church than Nicholas I." So much so, that many church historians and scholars argue that he should be considered Pope Nicholas the Great! But does he hold up to Pope Leo and Gregory? We're going to decide once and for all! 
In his episode, we discuss Nicholas's many conflicts against the troublesome Archbishop John of Ravenna, the haughty Archbishop Hincmar of Rheims, the illegitimate Patriarch Photius of Constantinople, and most importantly, the divorce of Lothair II. 
It turns out he was the punchy ol' Saint Nicholas all along!
Audio note: Bry's working with a new microphone, there might be a warble or two. It's learning. 
 
Huge thanks to Ben of Fukushima Laser Shark for our jingle!
 
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108. Adrian II

Monday Jan 24, 2022

Monday Jan 24, 2022

Adrian refused being elected pope twice before his actual pontificate, most likely because he was a married family man! 
In his episode, we discuss a surprise invasion of Rome, the somewhat resolution of the Lotharian divorce issue, courting the conversion of Buglars and Slavs, and the MOST perplexing murder. 
 
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109. John VIII

Monday Feb 07, 2022

Monday Feb 07, 2022

Pope Mad Hook assumes the papacy, and is faced with all the danger! In his episode, we discuss a full on pirate defense of Rome, difficult Guidos, a major shift in how the Holy Roman Emperors were chosen, and the first conflicts of Formosus - with shocking consequences!
 
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110. Marinus I

Monday Feb 21, 2022

Monday Feb 21, 2022

Although there is some confusion over Pope Marinus and his name, one thing that is perfectly clear is that his papacy set an important precedent in papal elections! In his episode, we discuss his approach to the ongoing Formosus situation, his relationship with a rexy king, and another spiritual blow in the Muslim conflict.
 
Please forgive our warbles, our mics were pure chaos this time around. 
 
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Monday Mar 07, 2022

This week, we're playing this terrible and nonsensical click-your-own-adventure game.
https://clickhole.com/can-you-keep-an-eye-on-the-pope-for-just-5-minutes-1825124327/
 
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Monday Mar 14, 2022

In this very special Actual Play episode, we were invited by Zoe and Mac of the Maniculum Podcast to play through the Green Knight TTRPG game, inspired by the A24 release of the Green Knight Movie
Listen as we team up with Andy and John from Saga Thing, and Mary from BookSquadGoals on an adventure to redeem our honour, and face impending death at the hands of the Green Knight!
Playing through literature-inspired games is super fun with Medievalists!!
Visit the Maniculum Podcast: https://www.themaniculumpodcast.com/

111. Adrian III

Monday Mar 21, 2022

Monday Mar 21, 2022

Sources on Adrian's papacy are very confused about just about everything! 
In his episode, we discuss Hadrian's severe anti-corruption crackdown, a literal plague of locusts, a Diet in Worms (not -that- Diet of Worms), and whether any of it happened when we think it did. 
 
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112. Stephen V

Monday Apr 11, 2022

Monday Apr 11, 2022

Due to naming confusion, Pope Stephen V is often called Stephen VI - but he is not THAT Stephen VI! 
In his episode, we will discuss his response to the locust-caused famine, special dispensations in light of Saracen violence, the final decision on the Slavonic liturgy, and the END of the Carolingian Dynasty!
 
Support Pontifacts:Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/pontifactspod
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Sunday Apr 24, 2022

We will once again be speaking at the Intelligent Speech Conference!
Intelligent Speech takes place online, on June 25th, from 10AM-6PM FST 
Tickets are available below, use code POPE at checkout for a discount!
https://www.intelligentspeechconference.com/

Thursday May 26, 2022

Given that Pontifacts remains in unexpected hiatus, Bry was invited by Gregg of the Popeular History Podcast to discuss his favourite (and Bry's LEAST favourite) theory about Pope Francis! 
In this episode, Gregg and Bry discuss Francis's attitude and commentary about retirement, the Apostolic Constitution, the College of Cardinals, and the one thing they both fervently agree on - their top pick for the next pope! 
Find Gregg and the Popeular History Podcast here: https://popeularhistory.podbean.com/

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Pontifacts is a independent papal history podcast, ranking all of the popes from Peter to Francis. In each episode, hosts Bry and Fry explore the life of a single pope and contextualize their papacy in world history, and religious development.

 

The hosts then rate the popes based on a series of amusing subjective categories to determine the value of their contributions and the entertainment of their scandal.

 

The most impactful popes are awarded a "papal bull", which will grant them further review in an eventual final, which will determine which is the "popiest pope who ever poped!"

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